Understanding Discipline (or at Least Trying To!)

Whether or not discipline comes naturally to you, it's important that you rise to the challenge. Your child is counting on you to equip her with the skills she needs for life.

The art of discipline is in setting limits for your child while still allowing her the freedom to grow. Although few parents would argue the benefits of discipline, they may struggle with what's required on a day-to-day basis to end up with a disciplined child. Then there's the fact that parents are subjected to so much unwanted advice about discipline—comments that can leave you shaking with anger while secretly questioning your own fitness for parenthood and sizing up your odds of raising a megabrat.

Because discipline is such a tough issue for parents, it's easy to second-guess yourself and conclude that you're not doing nearly as good a job of raising your kids as you should be. These insecurities can be fueled by the one-upmanship that some parents choose to engage in

Disciplining your child will seem a less-daunting task if you're clear about your own values and what basic behavioral standards you want to set for your child. (Chances are you have a pretty clear idea in your head about where you stand on this, but it can be helpful to jot a few points down on paper.) It also helps to have age-appropriate expectations about your child's behavior, because you'll drive yourself—and your child—crazy if you have unrealistic ideas about what she is capable of. (For example, expecting your toddler to have perfect manners or a tidy bedroom by age 2.) Finally, it's important to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to discipline. Otherwise, your child will learn over time to exploit the differences between you and your partner.