Three Discipline Methods to Avoid

Not all discipline methods are created equal. Here's the scoop on three discipline methods that you'll definitely want to avoid:

Threatened abandonment: The big problem with this so-called discipline technique is that it's based on a lie; you're not really going to abandon your child in order to teach him a lesson. This technique will have one of two possible effects on your child, depending on his age: either he'll catch on to the fact that you're bluffing (something that will instantly shoot holes in your credibility) or if he's still quite young, he'll secretly worry that you may actually abandon him after all. Neither of these scenarios will play out particularly well, which is why threatened abandonment doesn't tend to be a particularly effective method of discipline.

Bribery: Although bribing your child to behave may be awfully tempting and can provide the parenting quick fix you're looking for on a really bad day, you could end up creating a whole new set of problems for yourself. Do you really want to have to wait in the parking lot on Junior's first day at university so that you can reward him a gummy bear for going to class? It's important not to confuse incentives (a reward that has been earned for past good behavior) with bribes (a down payment on a promise of future good behavior). Incentives can be a useful tool in a behavior modification plan, but bribes are just plain bad news.

Spankings: In recent years, the American Academy of Pediatrics has given spanking and other forms of physical discipline a firm thumbs down. Because spanking relies on negative reinforcement (it emphasizes the bad behavior that you want to eliminate rather than the good behavior that you're hoping to encourage), young children may find it difficult to see the link between the behavior that landed them in trouble and the spanking that they just received. Of course, there are some even more compelling reasons not to spank your child: not only does spanking teach your child that it's OK to hit other people, but also spanking is typically done in anger, which makes it oh-so-easy for a supposedly harmless spanking to cross the line and escalate into child abuse. Studies have shown that spankings do tend to escalate in intensity if they don't get the desired results right away.