When your child is acting up, how do you keep your calm?

no problem, unlike you,  i have very little patience, i have never been a patient person, even as a child, and yelling was very common in my house growing up, it just comes naturally sometimes, so keeping my cool is a daily struggle.

dont listen to people who say she cant understand it when you appologize to her, b/c she can. she appologizes when she's done something hurtful, so she DOES understand when you say it, i know my 3yo daughter does. i say all the time "she's 3 not stupid." and i've said that since she was an infant!

i tell her "i'm sorry i did XXX. mommy got really upset when you XXX, please dont do that again. but i still shouldnt have XXX. " and i give her a hug.

Thank you, Gaamy, you always offer good advice. I am a pretty mild mannered person, so any time I yell I feel guilty about it, even though it doesn't happen very often, and the vast majority of the time it does happen, it is either a safety issue, and she isn't taking heed to my warning in a normal or stern voice, or she is doing something utterly disrespectful, like physically hurting me on her way to timeout. I do use your timeout technique regularly, and on the occasions that I do yell, I always tell her I am sorry and explain why I got upset, even though I've been told it's futile to try to reason with a young child. She's a very smart little girl, though, so I can't help but think that at least some of what I tell her has to stick in her memory. My hubby works a lot, so when he is home he is very helpful with discipline, but most of the time it's just me dealing with it. And you're right on about the reduced patience level when hungry, overly tired or completely stressed about other issues. Most days my patience seems infinite, and almost nothing gets to me, but on those high stress, little sleep days, it is much more challenging. Thanks again!

if there is someting she's doing that is driving you bonkers, put her in time out, force your self to be calm while doing it, then take the time out as a cooling off period, get yourself under control, then address her after time out.

if there's another adult. grandma, dad ect, maybe ask the other person to help you while you cool down.

also i find that if you're hungry, over tiered, or stressed about other things, it seriously reduces your patience, so take care of yourself.

and always, if you've done something you feel guilty about, like yelled of grabbed your kid's arm, tell her so. tell her mommy got upset and she's sorry. it will show her that she's not the only one who loses her temper sometimes.