When You Become a Mom... (fill in the blank?)

I live in a very close community where everyone knows everyone else and we have an open-door policy in our neighborhood.  We help and take care of each other when someone needs something.  Instead of doing the typical baby shower, we do what we call a "baby blessing" for new moms, where the ladies get together and encourage the new mother, give her their experiential wisdom, give gifts if they want (but they don't have to), and bless the new baby's life.  Often each lady makes a scrapbook page for the new mom and baby and they are all compiled in a special book and given to the mom.

I just had mine last month, for my very first baby, born 3/1/10, and it was awesome.  I have a friend who's about to have her first baby this month and I thought it would be cute to put together a page that says a bunch of things about becoming a new mom, preferably funny things that will make her laugh.  I have some ideas but I wondered if anyone could add to it b/c I'm sure there's a TON more that my sleep-deprived brain just can't think of right now.  Maybe I'll even publish them on parentsconnect if I get a bunch of really great ones! 

Here's what I have so far... (some aren't that funny but this is just a brainstorm) :)  What I have mainly pertains to newborns, since that's the only personal experience I have so far.

When You Become a Mom:

1)  You have permanent wet spots on both shoulders from baby drooling or spitting up.

2) You find yourself bouncing, rocking, or swaying...even when you are NOT holding the baby.  People give you strange looks until you stop.  You are so tired, you may or may not notice...or care.

3) You spend half the night hoping and praying the baby will stop crying and go to sleep...and then the other half worrying about why the baby is so quiet and checking to make sure they're still breathing.

4) You shell out big bucks for the perfect bassinet/cradle/crib...and then promptly shove it in a corner while the baby sleeps in your bed with you until they're too big for said bassinet/cradle/crib.

5) You leave the house to go to a social function with baby meticulously dressed, and all 3 of baby's hairs combed and styled, only to realize you can't remember the last time you combed YOUR hair...or changed (nevermind matched) your clothes.

6) You realize how much you really are capable of doing while you're asleep.

7) You have become invisible. Literally.  ...or else your name has been changed to "Hi, how's the baby???"

8) Everything in and on your house, car, room, person, and life smells like catnip and fennel (note: this is a natural baby herb commonly used in our community).  :)

9) You discover babies' uncanny ability to sense when you've finished your last load of laundry and turned the washer over to someone else in the house, so they can have a blowout and get poop on at least 2 layers of clean clothes, including yours.

Anyone have more?  :)