Evan's Birth Story
Two days before my due date, my doctor decided to induce me. Mistake #1. I was so naive and uncomfortable that I was all for it. We went in the night before and got the meds to get "thinned out" and slept and dreamed about meeting our baby boy the next day. The next morning my doctor came in and checked me and I had hardly thinned and hadn't dilated at all. He said it was no big deal and started the meds to induce labor. It started slow, of course, and I laughed and visited with family that was there waiting. The doctor came in and broke my water at about 10 AM, 2 hours into "labor."
Eventually I started to feel a little pain, nothing too bad, and went ahead and got an epidural ... mistake #2. I missed really feeling labor and I regret that. We waited the rest of the day happy as could be, numb from the chest down practically. They kept checking me and I had gotten up to 7 cm. I was starting to get nervous and excited, wondering what it would feel like to deliver my baby. At about 8 PM, the doctor came in and checked me and there had been no change. We had known all along I had a very curved cervix, and the baby was having a hard time getting around that curve. The doctor said he'd check in an hour for change and if there wasn't one, we would do a C-section.
All through my pregnancy, I thought if I have to have a C-section, it's fine. I just want a healthy baby. I was wrong. I instantly felt like a failure! Why can't I deliver my baby? Women do this all the time. The doc came back, no change, and we went off to the OR. I had a C-section and had an amazing little boy. He was perfect and I was recovering fine, physically.
I have so many regrets about the day Evan was born. The nurses let my family in the nursery while I was still in recovery so I wasn't the first one to get to see him. I didn't see him until 1 AM the next morning so I didn't hold him on his birthday, and of course, the scar ... but that is of the least importance. I am so thankful to have my little man and I am loving him more every day, but if I am lucky enough to have another chance at giving birth, I will be in much more control! I am confident that with time (as in not getting induced), Evan and my body would have been ready. I shouldn't have challenged nature!!
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