Combo feeding, anyone else out there?

With both my pregnancies, I had absolutely no breast growth. Which was a real disappointment for me, because I was really excited that I might actually fill a B-cup for once in my life.

I had trouble breastfeeding my firstborn almost from the start. Latching was difficult, it was painful, and then to top it off, he didn't get to leave the hospital with me because he was so jaundiced. After several days in the NICU, he came home. At the time, I lived with my boyfriend's (now estranged) parents' house, and his mother kept slipping him bottles of formula while I was in the shower! Eventually, I gave up.

So, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I vowed to make breastfeeding work. From the first time I put her to my breast, she had a great latch. And she nursed frequently. And we went home together. And nursing frequently turned into nursing CONSTANTLY. If she ever fell asleep and came off the breast, ten minutes later, she'd be up again, wailing to be fed. I called the lactation consultant and made an appointment. She asked if I'd be comfortable supplementing. I told her I'd much rather be able to supply all the milk for my daughter myself, but that I wasn't going to starve her just because breastfeeding is what I always planned to do, but I would give her whatever breastmilk I could.

I cried when she had her first bottle, but after nursing her on one breast, switching to the other, switching back, and switching back again, and she still wasn't satisfied, I was mentally exhausted and physically drained.

Now, we've found a perfect combonation of both breast and bottle. I always nurse first, and when she needs a little sucking comfort, I have built in pacifiers!

Is there anyone else out there that had the same problem? I'm still having a bit of a problem dealing with the shame of not being able to exclusively breastfeed.