Michael Ian Black "Hated" His Babies
Submitted by Michael Ian Black
When each of my kids was born, I felt like I was the only person that I knew that said, "I hate my baby!" Seriously, I hated both of my babies. They were terrible, terrible babies—miserable, crying, colicky babies who wanted nothing to do with me! The second was actually WORSE than the first!
I could not soothe them, I could not comfort them. ... I could only hold them as they cried their eyes out! It was a really horrible time for my wife and me. I would do nothing but complain about my kids, and people were horrified. This phase that was supposed to be a blissful stage of parenthood was anything but that. In fact, it sucked. My babies didn't sleep for the first four months and the crying didn't stop for the first year!
People would ask, "Don't you just love your 'little angels'?" and I was like "NO! I hate them!" I wanted to write a book called "I Hate My Baby!" so people could feel better about feeling the same way, because I know that other people have felt this way, but maybe they're just too afraid to admit it. But I didn't write it because I was so sleep-deprived that I couldn't see straight. Seriously, I hated my babies!
Besides being a dad, Michael Ian Black is best known as an actor, comedian and writer. Currently, he is the star of Michael & Michael Have Issues on Comedy Central, and has starred in shows such as Reno 911! and I Love the '80s... series on VH1.