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Picture (Not So) Perfect
Submitted by
Deva Dalporto
My friend—let's call her Karen—just sent me a picture of her newborn, and all I can say is, "Wow! That kid is not pretty!" With his cone-shaped head, baby acne and puffy eyelids, he isn't winning any Gap baby model contests.
And yet, for some reason, parents everywhere (including me) insist on sending out photos of their splotchy bundles of joy to everyone in their Yahoo address book within hours of delivery. Come on, wait a few weeks! I mean, does anyone really think newborns are cute? Or do we all know they are U-G-L-Y and etiquette simply requires us to gush and keep our real opinions to ourselves?
I know I have to reply to Karen's email with an overly emotive "OH MY GOD! He's sooooo adorable! :)" or I will seem like a terrible person. But what if I were brutally honest? What if I just said, "Yuck! He's really fugly looking right now. I'm sure he'll be cute in a few months. Why don't you send me a picture then?" Of course I'd NEVER say that to her.
Alright, maybe I'm being harsh. Not all babies are ugly at birth. There was one baby who was utterly gorgeous from the moment she arrived. Mine. No really, this isn't only Mommy-bias, she was perfect looking. Everyone we emailed the photos to said so! They were just being nice ... right?
Submit!
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