Child Adoption: When Questions About Birth Parents Arise

Parents who are open and honest about child adoption issues—and above all validate their child's sense of loss and need to know about their biologic family and history—tend to forge the closest bonds with their adopted children.

Your child actually is accepting reality and is attempting to forge a solid sense of self and identity by asking birth parent questions. The best advice I can give you is to validate your child's feelings by saying something like, "It must be so difficult not knowing about your birth family," or "I wish there were some way that I could help you find information about them." This will reassure your child that you understand that pain and sense of loss and will encourage your child to open up and communicate about adoption issues.