Kids Sleeping Tips: Dr. Marc Weissbluth's Sleep Rules
"Sleep Rules" are a strategy Dr. Marc Weissbluth created that works well for children over 2-and-a-half or 3-years old. (You can find more information about Sleep Rules in his book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.)
To get your kids sleeping using Sleep Rules, first create an elaborate poster outlining the following "sleep rules:"
1. Stay in bed.
2. Close our eyes.
3. Stay very quiet.
4. Go to sleep.
If you choose, you may use an alarm clock, in which case, you may wish to add a fifth rule to the poster:
5. Stay in bed until you hear the music.
1. Stay in bed.
2. Close our eyes.
3. Stay very quiet.
4. Go to sleep.
If you choose, you may use an alarm clock, in which case, you may wish to add a fifth rule to the poster:
5. Stay in bed until you hear the music.
Be sure to use your child's name in the title (for example, "John's Sleep Rules") and include your child in the creation of the poster. Decorate it with markers, paint, stickers, whatever your child likes!
As you create, discuss the rules with your child, so you can be sure she understands them. Draw pictures for anything that might be unclear. Hang the poster in your child's room where he can see it and be reminded of the rules.
Next, set rewards and restrictions of privileges to accompany the Sleep Rules.
Talk with your child to come up with a reward for following the Sleep Rules—stickers, bite-sized pieces of candy... anything small, motivating to your child and mutually agreed on. Keep the rewards in a clear container in a place that is out of your child's reach, but where the rewards will be visible to your child.
You must also set up a consequence for not following the rules—loss of a toy, television or computer privileges, etc. (Don't restrict your child from creative things such as books, music, art or playing outdoors.)
Then, each morning that your child has followed the rules, acknowledge that the rules were followed and reward the behavior with the treat. For days when your child fails to follow the rules, discuss the rules that weren't followed and implement the restriction.
Then, each morning that your child has followed the rules, acknowledge that the rules were followed and reward the behavior with the treat. For days when your child fails to follow the rules, discuss the rules that weren't followed and implement the restriction.
If you're using an alarm clock, set it for the waking time you've set with your child. Choose classical music as the alarm and set the volume to quiet—it should be quiet enough that if your child is still sleeping when the alarm sounds, it won't wake her. If she is awake, she'll use the quiet music as her cue that she may now get out of bed.
Practice the "Silent Return." When you put your child to bed, remind him of the Sleep Rules, then say, "I love you. It's time to sleep. If you get out of bed tonight, I'm going to put you back in bed, but I'm not going to talk to you when I do it."
Then, anytime your child leaves his bed during the night, return him to bed without saying a word. This can be challenging, but engaging your child by talking with him, even if you're expressing your disapproval, rewards your child with attention and gives him incentive to repeat the behavior.
NOTE: If your child is still napping, apply all of the above techniques during naptime, too, for consistency.
NOTE: If your child is still napping, apply all of the above techniques during naptime, too, for consistency.
For more information on kids' sleeping from Dr. Weissbluth, visit our Kids' Sleeping Boot Camp where you'll find expert advice and four weeks of challenges to help you get your family on the path to better sleep.
Want more sleep advice? Here's what Dr. Weissbluth has to say about:
Sleeping through the night
Crying at bedtime
Keeping kids in their own rooms
Teaching kids to fall asleep on their own
Naps for fussy babies
Crying it out
Putting kids back to bed
report abuseWant more sleep advice? Here's what Dr. Weissbluth has to say about:
Sleeping through the night
Crying at bedtime
Keeping kids in their own rooms
Teaching kids to fall asleep on their own
Naps for fussy babies
Crying it out
Putting kids back to bed
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