Kids With Down Syndrome: Dealing With Demeaning Language
My son, whose brother has Down syndrome, is uncomfortable with his friends using the phrase, "That's retarded!" How can I help?
There is a great guidebook called Speak Up: Responding to Everyday Bigotry that provides useful ideas for situations like this. Often, a simple conversation is enough. If your son hasn't already, he should explain to his friends that his brother has Down syndrome and share how their repeated comments make him feel.
If that doesn't work, he can try to appeal to core principles: "Listen guys, you are really nice people—fair-minded and friendly—so it shocks me when I hear you say something that sounds so bigoted." He also can set limits—asking his friends not to make the remarks around him, out of courtesy to him. He may also try to find an ally within his friend group who is willing to help "lean on" the others, too, so they will stop.
report abuseIf that doesn't work, he can try to appeal to core principles: "Listen guys, you are really nice people—fair-minded and friendly—so it shocks me when I hear you say something that sounds so bigoted." He also can set limits—asking his friends not to make the remarks around him, out of courtesy to him. He may also try to find an ally within his friend group who is willing to help "lean on" the others, too, so they will stop.
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