Nanny 911: Compliment Your Kids
Children do not need to be fussed over and overpraised for doing simple things that should be done every day, or told they are geniuses for putting a sippy cup in the sink. Children do, however, need to be encouraged—daily. They do need a hug and a kiss every day. They do need to feel that they are important to you. One of the ways you can do this is to be complimentary.
Your challenge: Give your kid compliments.
- Each day, make sure your kids hear the following phrases from you: I love you. Please. Thank you. Thank you for being my child. I'm proud of you. I believe in you. I trust you.
- Make your compliments meaningful. Don't just compliment your kids for doing what's expected of them, or for something minor (or just for being cute. We know they are!). Compliments should be reserved for actual accomplishments! Don't pour on the praise for something they didn't actually do. And never say they are the Best in the World in anything. I'm sure that your child is going to do MANY wonderful things today; the key is to look for the right opportunity to praise them.
- Praise them appropriately. When your kids do something special, like draw you a picture or get dressed by themselves, that's when you can tell that you're proud of them. Yes, rewarding your children reinforces good behavior, but they are validated simply by knowing that they've pleased Mom and Dad.
- Slip them a note. If your children can read or are in school, tuck a note in their backpack or lunchbox and let them know how you feel about them. If you have a pre-reader, print out some positive, note-size images (like thumbs up or smiley faces) to provide encouragement. A little acknowledgment can go a long way.
- Give compliments around the house.While you're at it, give your partner, grandma or even the dog a compliment. It sets up a positive environment in the home that Mom and Dad encourage each other, too!
So remember: Dole out the compliments for your kids' accomplishments and achievements. Let them know how you feel.
And my question to you is: What compliments did you give your kid today? Was it for something that they did or said? Share your tales in the comments below.
Be sure to check in with your mommy allies on the Child Behavior Message Board. Check out these other challenges:
- Challenge 1: Prepare for Meltdowns
- Challenge 2: Stop Whining and Screaming
- Challenge 3: Say No to Saying No
- Challenge 4: Get Your Kids to Clean Up
- Challenge 5: Reward Good Behavior
- Challenge 6: Establish House Rules
- Challenge 7: Work on Your Most Challenging Challenge
- Challenge 8: Take a Mommy & Daddy Time-Out
- Challenge 10: Acknowledge Mistakes and Move On
- Challenge 11: Say Please and Thank You
- Challenge 12: Work on This Week's Most Challenging Challenge
- Challenge 13: Pick Your Battles
- Challenge 14: Learning to Listen
- Challenge 15: Get Your Kids Talking
- Challenge 16: Keep Your Cool
- Challenge 17: Use a Timer
- Challenge 18: Give Effective Time-Outs