Spanking as Kids' Discipline

A swat on the bottom as he runs toward the street or a rap on the hand as she reaches for a hot stove can sometimes be effective in steering a young child from danger. However, research shows that kids who are spanked as a regular form of punishment are less trusting of their parents and feel less of an emotional bond with them. The more frequent or severe the spanking, the less connected a child tends to feel.

The purpose of kids' discipline is to teach, not instill fear. We want our children to respect us, not be afraid of us. Spanking is also associated with lowering a child's self-esteem; he may begin to see himself as an unworthy person.

Additionally, spanking sends very mixed messages to your kids. Some parents hit their kids as a punishment for hitting; that's an extremely confusing message. When parents use physical force to get their children to do something, the children learn that aggression is the way to get what they want.

Try using a positive approach to discipline by rewarding the positives rather than simply punishing the negatives. Incentives can be very powerful tools when shaping kids' behaviors. And using a positive and less punitive approach can help your kids learn by addressing their behavior without tearing down their sense of self.