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Kids' Discipline for Disrespect and Hitting

Submitted by michiemommy
I am a 40-year-old married mom with a 9-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. My 9-year-old doesn't seem to know what the word respect means. I've explained it to her so many times, yet she has no trouble telling me or my husband "shut up" or roll her eyes or just plain say no when I tell her to clean her room.
I have to admit I am a yeller and I am working on stopping. My 5-year-old son hits our daughter a lot. At first we just tossed it up to a phase. However, we are worried that if we don't stop it, it wont stop on its own. She does get very upset. I do give him time-outs, which used to be on the staircase. Now they have switched to his room because he didn't seem to mind the steps but hates going to his room.
We are going to try to be consistent with that and see if it works. Both of my kids are great in school. Their behavior is just how it should be when they are there, but when they get home, they are different children. I'm glad they behave in school but what am I doing wrong????? My son will even hit me at times. I am almost at a point where I feel like giving up even though I know I cannot ... Any pointers?? I feel very inadequate as a mom even though I try my best.
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