normal or nosey and controlling?

 i think it's a metabolism thing.  she eats alot and often. she usually doesnt go more than 2-3 hrs w/out food. she is not over weight, but tall, solidly built and quite muscular for a child her age.the kid's got calves like WHOA! 

she likes to help in the kitchen (which DOES stop the pestering while she doing it) but unfortunately once everything's started there's not much to do. i would love to try recipies that she could be more involved in but she has a very limited menu and wouldnt eat it. (another issue we are slowly working on in the novel of food issues) when we give her something else to do she stops every few minutes to ask about dinner. i feel like i'm getting on to her about it constantly. i dont like it.

My first question would be is the food issue a high metabolism thing or a bored eater thing? If its a boredom issue maybe you can include her in the cooking. It might help (then again it might make things worse) as it does at our house, Sequoia's help is not so helpful when she's hungry and whiney. But most of the time it helps and if it makes things worse, I find other things for her to do.

thanks guys, i just feel like i dont have as much patience with her as i usually do lately. all of her little ticks seem to be getting more profound.

@embra, with Gigi it's not so much about her just wanting to let you know what time/day ect, it's about her trying to use this knowledge to control the situation. i'd play time telling games with her all day if that's what it was about.

she is very...oh what's a good word...impatient maybe, about food esp. so by the time she's asking when dinner will be ready we've already had to talk to her about the way she handled being told no more snacks before dinner and she's asked how long dinner will be and if it's ready multiple times. she doesnt actually care how long it's going to take, she wants her dinner NOW and if i take longer than i tell her it will be she gets upset and complains, loudly. as soon as she wakes up, though she has no interest in eating breakfast (that's a whole other post!) she is already asking what's for lunch and when is lunch and what treat can she have after lunch and oh, by the way, is it lunch time yet?once you've given her a time she feels like you MUST do it at that time and if you dont then she becomes extremely difficult.

Sounds normal to me. She is excited that she knows how to use a clock and a calendar. Seems like if she thinks it is Sunday and it is Saturday, there is not much harm. Just correct her and if she still argues, then let it drop. If there was something special you were supposed to do on Sunday, you can say, "OK. It can be whatever day you want it to be, but we are still doing that tomorrow, not today." If she asks what you are doing in the other room, you can make it a game and make up something outrageous. "I am flying a kite with an elephant and three lions."

With the thing with the clock, I could see how that would be annoying, but maybe you could use it as a chance to talk to her about estimating. "I think dinner will be ready in 10 minutes. You can time me and tell me how close to that we get."

How you approach this really depends on what you want.

My first step would be to talk to her primary care provider for a referral so she can be evaluated and have a full evaluation.

Next step is to make a decision based on what the evaluation says. Likely it will be a lot of tendencies and borderlines, like almost all kids in some areas.

If behavioral therapy is an option, I would try that. It focuses less on the whys if the behaviors and more on getting rid of behaviors you don't want and replacing them with behaviors you do want. Like I said, this would be my choice. People have different expectations.

If you are just wanting answer or ways to live with and manage the situation, there are people who can help you with that as well. First step is to really talk with the primary care person and let them know what you are looking for.

If you want to know if your kid is normal, no such thing as a normal kid. The better question is can she function in her environments. If you can live with her behavior then the behavior is fine. If you can't, do something about the behaviors. If you are unable to manage the behaviors, get professional help.