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Talking to the younger child
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Now that my 3 year old daughter has a little brother, she has gone from the center of our universe to being one of two well-loved monkeys. She's not loving that (although she happily adores her brother). Now she is very well-behaved when we are one on one, but whenever he is around, she misbehaves to get our attention, even when we have just spent a bunch of time just with her. Even though she used to play well on her own, now if she sees that we are trying to talk to her brother (8 months), she jumps on us and talks over us in a steady stream. I am worried that he is not going to hear language enough to learn to talk. He only seems to understand a few words (mama, dada, and stars), and only says mama. He also hasn't yet turned over back to front (although he stays in a sitting position well if put there) but that is a separate issue. I try to give them both some one-on-one time, but what happens is that I give her one-on-one time and then when it is his turn, she acts up the whole time. Does anyone have ideas about how to spend some quality time with the younger one? I reassure my daughter all the time and give her lots of cuddling. I put her in her room for certain things that she does and am firm with her when she misbehaves. I feel bad that she is feeling left out sometimes, but want to be able to spend time with him as well.
Last Edited: 11/18/2012 - 09:32 PM | Replies
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- embra
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- TwoSapphires
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I think to some extent this is normal with younger siblings; they don't get as much individual attention as firstborns/only children do. I would try talking to both kids at the same time sometimes--even just doing things like narrating what you're doing are very helpful for language development and you can do that with the kids hopefully without your DD feeling ignored. Also, if she still has a nap or quiet time at all, you could try giving focused attention to your baby during those times. Are there times you and your partner can each take a child to give them individual attention?
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- MaMaCondor
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I noticed my son was way behind on talking in comparison too, he still is in comparison to his cousin who is just 3 months older even when I'm sure to compare his speech now to hers three months ago. I have tish toshed the gender differences but my little dude is always pointing out that some of those differences are real. He is ball and car crazy, way more active than she was, more physically able (because he's constantly trying to keep up with her) and he did talk later. Now that he's 2 and she's 5, his strenghts are coming out more, back when he was your sons age I was a bit concerned as well. He's just a different person than she was.
As far as getting her to stop getting angry about him getting all the love, I'm having that problem too. I find that one on one time for BOTH kids works, Sequoia gets Papa time Xander gets Mama time and we switch so your daughter is being engaged by someone elsewhere. Playdates are a good time to get in the mommy and little one time too as your daughter will be more interested in her friends, especially the drop em off playdates. Now that she's three she can probably get into not mommy and me gymnastics or swim lessons and preschool which is another way to keep her occupied while you're spending one on one time with your little tike. That and doing what your doing like being firm with her about what sort of behavior is not acceptable. She can complain but as long as she's getting one on one time with you, she'll get over it.
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stuff I'm following
