4 & 5 year old girls! I'm clueless!

You are fantastic! How brave of you! I have a 4 y/o girl right now. She fights bedtime with a vengence. We stick to a routine. She has a bath, pjs, then we read her a book or let her play with quiet toys for a bit, then she brushes her teeth, says her prayers, then lights out. She likes to have the door open a bit which is fine. It usually takews her a while to fall asleep. We have to tell her a few times to be quiet. Just try to be patient with them. As for when they get sick, I use HealthLink a lot. I'm not sure if they have something like this every where but its a toll free number you can call. It connects you to a nurse and they can answer any questions you have. I call when my kids have a rash I'm not sure of or if they have a cough that I've never heard. They can tell you if you need to make an appointment or go to emerg. Hope this helps! You can message me if you want too. :)

Oh My!  Sending hugs and prayers your way!  I highly recommend these books to help you as their new mom better understand the girls at this age.  Your Four-Year-Old: Wild and Wonderful

You may be able to get it from the library.  Honestly this book has been around forever but the insight is invaluable.

Have a special bedtime ritual with the girls that includes bath, teeth brushing and reading a book out loud.  Then prayers, hugs and a special stuffed animal to snuggle close to.  

It must be crazy suddenly having two little girls, when before there were none. Eveything you're stressing over is perfectly normal, you sound so much like the parent of a 1st time newborn its nuts, only what your worried about is adjusted for age. Like other posters, I would suggest trying to keep things consistent, talk to the girls and ask them about how things went at home. If you notice any routines, try and incorporate them otherwise make your own. Particularly with bedtime and wake up. You don't have to be one of those super schedualled mamas/aunties if thats not your style, but having a routine around ending and starting the day seems to be the most benefitial routines to make and keep (I am a very not routine oriented person, but those routines are key). At 4 and 5 they already know what they're into, you just need to ask and if they don't seem to want to give definitive answers just watch, when kids are into something they have a hard time hiding it. Something you may or may not have thought about but probably should get ready for is the grieving process.

I don't necesarily like shrinks, in the midst of a crazy divorce my parents seemed to think we needed to talk to someone so we had different shrinks we spoke to and who were consulted and all in all it fucking sucked and felt very forced. Then in college I found myself taking courses in human development/councelling/interpersonal & group processes and communications as part of an outdoor education major. What I learned through the courses and through experience is that forced therapy is a waste. What's really needed is someone who the kids feel a connection with and trust and more importantly someone who will listen. The kids need to feel listenned to. When it comes to actual therapies I've always liked animal assisted and art therapies (in theory at least, I only ever went to someone I was expected to spill my guts to without preamble). Get some books on children and grieving so you know whats coming and you can help them along the best you can. But otherwise it seems like the answer to most of your questions would be to engage the girls, don't just talk to them listen to them and be there for them. And make sure you've got someone there for you too, I'm sure you'll find pleanty of support on this site but also in real life because your going to need it.

About getting them to sleep, follow reguler routine every night with lots of patience!  It's difficult for both sides!  You with learning what to do for them, and both sides adjusting to the changes in your lives!  With patience and some guidence from moms on this site, you'll get through this, and see the rewards you get!  Like unconditional love, etc.....

I would just talk to them and ask them what they are interested in.  You would be surprised how much kids will say and how much insight you can get into their life if you will just listen to them.

My daughter is 4 and is super into princess, barbies, dolls, and also pirates.  You could even just take them to the library and have them pick out books to borrow and you can get an idea of what they like.

Good luck and if you run into any issues just let us know!