How can I help my daughter cope with the competitiveness at her high school?

My questions back to you are: What is the attitude toward competition within your own family? Are games with winners and losers a part of your family's social life? As for your daughter, does she need encouragement? How does she feel about the competition she is facing in school? Is she currently competing as hard as she can, and if so, does she enjoy the challenges? Is this her concern or yours?

The competition she is facing in her college-prep high school—complete with viciousness and being in and out of cliques—is a part of her education. She will be facing similar issues throughout her professional and personal life. The issues you are concerned with may be the result of her using you to vent her day-to-day frustrations. We all need someone to vent with from time to time, don't we? Encourage her to give life her best, whether it is on the soccer field, in her honors bio-chem class or in the myriad of relationships she is developing. She'll need these skills well honed as she starts facing life as an adult.