Going to Pot
My son is 15 years old. He's really popular at school, and I think that's great. He gets invited to a lot of parties, and we let him go to most of them, as long as we know there are adults there and no alcohol or drugs. I think we've been pretty careful—but maybe not careful enough.
Last night, my son came home on time, but when I pulled his sweater and T-shirt out of the hamper to do the laundry, I'm sure I smelled marijuana on his clothes.
I'm not young and I'm not stupid. I smoked grass when I was in high school and college, though I never really got into it. I know what it smells like and I know how people act when they're high.
Joseph is a good boy. I have known most of his friends since they were all in first grade together. Some I've known even longer. I spend time with Joseph every day. I pick him up from school. I help him with his homework. Maybe I don't tuck him in all the time, or even get a kiss every night, but I know him and I would know if he was high.
At least I thought I would. I was sure up until just last night that I would know. I was also sure that he would tell me if there were drugs at a party or if his friends started using. But now I'm not so sure.
I've seen it happen with friends and family members. They smoke a little pot, they try a couple of pills, somebody gives them a line of coke and all of a sudden they have a big problem. I don't want that to happen to Joseph. I don't even want him to be around that kind of danger.
I know if I ask him, he'll just shrug it off. He doesn't want to get grounded or get his friends in trouble or stop seeing them. He's happy the way things are, and I haven't actually caught him doing anything wrong. Not yet.
Do I wait? Do I talk to him? He's off at school right now, and I just spent what felt like half an hour standing in the doorway to his room. I just stood there. I couldn't decide if I should go in and search it for joints or just leave it alone and wait to see what happens. I've never searched his room before; I've never even thought about it. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have sworn to you that I would never invade his privacy like that. I wouldn't have to. I could trust him.
But I know that smell. And now I don't know what to do.