Teen Behavior: Working On Impulse Control

Impulsiveness can have a significant impact upon your daughter's ability to handle the social and physical demands of team sports. She has difficulty inhibiting her behavior and delaying gratification: two skills that are required in a team setting. Her impulsive behavior (interrupting, disorganization, inability to wait her turn) will be troubling for her coaches and teammates. Her behavior is not malicious or purposeful, but it is often viewed as such.

It is good to hear that your daughter is seeing a therapist. Hopefully, this will provide her with strategies that she can use to control her impulses. The therapist will emphasize "self talk" with her where she will "coach" herself when faced with difficult situations by sub vocalizing instructions to herself. ("The coach is giving instructions. I should sit here quietly and not talk to Jesse right now.") She will also be taught to Stop-Look-Listen when entering new situations by perusing the setting and deciding what behavior will be appropriate. She also should be given guidance in decision making, prioritizing, organization and problem solving.

Many parents feel that psychotropic medication (e.g., Ritalin) will solve the impulsiveness problem. Although the medication might help, she will also need instruction and coaching in order to master her impulsiveness. Remember: It's a pill not a skill.

Perhaps you might want to steer her athletic activities toward individual sports (tennis, golf, swimming, bowling, martial arts) rather than team sports. She will get more individualized attention, and these sports can be enjoyed throughout her life.