Talking to Preteens About Sex and Birth Control

The best way to discuss sensitive topics with your kids is to start when they are very young. The more you keep lines of communication open along the way, the more likely you'll feel able and more comfortable to have the "talk."

Kids need to grow up with an awareness of their bodies, learning which parts are private and why, recognizing good touch from bad touch and gradually what is happening to their bodies as they reach puberty. In other words, the body should be an ongoing conversation. Teach children about love using your own significant relationship as a demonstration of affection and how people should treat each other.

As kids get older, their bodies change and with this change come feelings and urges that are new and scary. Lots of (mis)information floats around the playground at earlier and earlier ages. Be open with your discussions, and not judgmental. Be willing to answer questions with facts and information rather than sermons and lectures. Talk about sex as an expression of love and commitment; use movies, TV shows, magazines, etc. as springboards to discuss how relationships are portrayed—and ask your children for their views. Certainly teach your kids your own views/morality about sex and birth control. It's truly a balancing act to teach your moral views and still be open enough for your kids to come to you if theirs are different, or if they find themselves in a difficult situation.