Getting a Grip and Letting Go of My Preschooler!

We are down to the wire and need to choose a part-time preschool for our son, but to be honest, I think I'm resisting it because I'm not ready for my baby to grow up!

I know that he would absolutely love to go to preschool. My son is the kid with the biggest smile on his face during his Wee Naturalist classes, the one with the loudest laugh on the playground, and the first to settle in his chair anxiously when it's story time. I know that I'm projecting, but when I think about him spending even part of his day in a classroom and see all of the back-to-school supplies in the stores, it reminds me that this is his first step out the door and that at this time next year my baby is going to be starting school and leaving me.

I'm a drama queen, but up to this point, the majority of his memories have been shared memories. He'll be starting a brand-new chapter in his life that has nothing to do with me. Where did the time go? My friends who have kids tell me that once they start school, time just flies by. How much faster is it going to get when it seems like just yesterday we were bringing our brand-new baby boy home from the hospital? The next thing I know he'll be graduating from college, getting married to someone who's no good for him and having a family of his own. He'll always spend holidays with her family and forget to even call me on Mother's Day. After all that I've done for him, how could he!

I know that I need to get a grip, and logically my mind is in the here-and-now, but my heart is 25 years from now. Realistically the world is so much more competitive and therefore school is more competitive now than when I was a child, and he needs to be prepared. Preschool is the first step in his preparation. I want him to succeed in life. But would it be selfish of me to say that when I see those stories on the news about adult children in their 30s struggling to make ends meet and moving back in with their parents, I think to myself That wouldn't be so bad. We could add a shower to the downstairs bathroom and convert the office to a bedroom. He could come and go as he pleases, but still be around in case his father or I need his help?

I'm so proud of the little boy that he has become and I guess that we've been doing a good job so far because he is daring and independent and loves to explore, but sometimes I wish that I had one of those clingy kids who never lets you out of their sight. It's time to start letting go, but why did it have to happen so fast?