Grocery Store Gauntlet
After surviving another grueling expedition of grabby hands and noisy demands—also known as a trip to the grocery store—imagine my thrill at seeing the new sign hanging above one of the checkout lines: "Family Friendly" it declared.
"Hallelujah! The battle is over," I thought, picturing a checkout aisle free of the gauntlet of candy, cheap toys and other unnecessaries that always result in an intense gimme-gimme go-round.
With confidence and a smile, I wheeled our cart to the "Family Friendly" line.
Oh, crap. The crap was all there. Immediately, my 4-year-old started begging for M&M's, while the 2-year-old grabbed at "pretties" for her hair.
Stunned, I tried to figure out what the heck they meant by "Family Friendly" and then I realized the only things missing were the magazines that usually flank checkout lines.
OK, so there were no cover photos of skeletal celebrities, no enticing headlines about Tantric, exotic, or any other sex, no articles promising a better beach butt in just 10 minutes a day. Like my preschoolers give a rat's beach butt about any of that. NEWSFLASH: They can't read the spicy headlines, but they sure as hell know (and want) a tasty chocolate bar when they see one.
Is my idea of "Family Friendly" that out of whack? Am I the only parent in the world that would rather have a checkout lined with junk food for the mind rather than the body?