David Deluise: I Don't Wait on My Kids Hand & Foot

I tend to overcompensate for my kids' happiness to the point where I'll go out of my way for them. For example, if I'm in the kitchen and my daughter's in the living room and she wants me to bring her something that's right next to her, I'm tempted to do it. What I'm trying to do instead is say yes, I can bring that to you, but you can also get it yourself. As long as the base of love is there, my kids can get things for themselves. Waiting on them isn't the same as loving them. And at least I know they behave when they're away from home. I get such great reports about how they are, so at least there's proof they're practicing what I'm trying to teach them.

Another thing that has helped me ease up on always doing things for my kids is openly disagreeing with their behavior. When they are acting a certain way that is uncool or mean, I'll say, "I love you, but I don't love that behavior." Again, I'm reinforcing the bond at the same time I'm letting them know that I do not support bad behavior.

I'm a planner, so I like to have things figured out in advance. But I've found that when I let my kids do their own thing they learn more. I try not to stand in their way and allow them to feel the consequences of their actions.

Besides being a parent, David Deluise is Jerry Russo on Wizards of Waverly Place.

Read what David Deluise says about:
Being a Cooperator Parent
Overachieving Kids