Positive-Parenting a "Difficult" or Spirited Child
Parenting a difficult or, ahem, spirited child can try the patience of a true saint. Here are a few tips to help hold on to—what's left of—your sanity if you've been blessed with a challenging kid:
Remember your child was born with her temperament. It's important to remember that she isn't being cranky or moody just to drive you crazy—even if it may seem like that's the case!
Try to think of your child's traits positively. Rather than thinking of your child as stubborn, think of her as persistent. If she is acting bossy, recognize her budding leadership skills. And always remember: a supposedly negative trait can be a very good thing under different circumstances, and vice versa!
Focus on your child's positives. Rather than focusing on the things that are driving you nuts, focus on the things that you like most about your child. Instead of complaining about your child's pickiness—the downside of extreme sensitivity—remind yourself how she can channel her sensitivity to change the world through art, music or writing.
Make sure your expectations are realistic. Be sure to praise your child for any notable improvements in her behavior. Remember: You need progress, not perfection!
Learn how to choose battles. If your child is willing to battle over every little thing, you're going to have to choose your battles. Otherwise, you're going to be totally fried by the end of the day!
Everyone ... remain ... calm! Try to keep your cool even if your child has mastered the ability to push every single one of your buttons simultaneously. Although unleashing a primal scream may feel great, becoming emotional or angry with your child is generally counterproductive. If you need to let off steam, do yourself and your child a favor: Call a friend, go for a quick work out or just take some me-time.
Take time away from your child. Parenting is fundamentally exhausting, but parenting a challenging child will drain your reservoirs in no time. Make sure that you take time away from your child on a regular basis. Remember: Motherhood and positive parenting do not equate with martyrdom!
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