Coping With the Parenting Generation Gap
There's no denying it: Parents and grandparents don't always agree on important parenting issues like discipline, feeding or safety. Here's what you need to know to prevent little disagreements from exploding into extreme, intergenerational warfare!
During pregnancy (and postpartum!), be prepared for an outpouring of advice—both good and bad. Most grandparents feel a strong need to share all the wisdom they gathered during their parenting years. Unfortunately, they may not realize that some of their methods of doing things have long since gone the way of the dinosaurs. Instead of freaking out because the advice you're receiving is totally wacky or just plain weird, just accept it in the spirit in which it was offered (with the absolute best of intentions) and simply ignore anything that no longer applies to modern parenting.
Absolutely do not be afraid to stand your ground on the issues that really matter to you! You'll probably need to remind your child's grandparents that you're in charge when it comes to making the important parenting decisions. They've had their roles in that loooong-running drama known as parenthood—now you're the star.
Keep in mind: Like Rome, grandparents are not built in a day. It may take some time for your parents or your partner's parents to really become grandparents, particularly if your child is the first grandchild (a.k.a., the guinea pig!). Not everyone is immediately ready to cope with the cries of a colicky baby or the tantrums of a seriously determined toddler. Your child's grandparents may not be comfortable playing anything more than a minor supporting role until your child becomes a tad more, um, civilized.
Realize that your parents are a whole generation older than they were when they were raising you. Accordingly, they may not be ready for a lot of noise or rough-and-tumble play.
Count your blessings! It is really a gift to be blessed with super-supportive parents and in-laws (or even one of the two!). Having solid support from the older generation can make parenting a lot easier.
Remind yourself that having a loving relationship with your child's grandparents can be a huge gift to a child—and vice versa.
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