Don't Call My Kid Shy!
Submitted by ljzmami
Look, just because my kid doesn't wave to your goony goo-goo face or say "hello" when you do, don't slap a scarlet letter S on her.
"Oh, she's shy," they say all frowny. Um, no, she's not. She doesn't know you from Adam or Eve or the Unabomber. (And why you think you can ask her for one of her pretzels as a conversation starter is beyond me!) Why should she talk to you? And frankly, why should I force her to?
Imagine if we were so quick to judge everyone like we do little kids. "Excuse me, sir. You're not ordering a salad? Oh, I see. That's because you're a fat slob." Doesn't really work, huh? Yet folks throw around the "shy" word like it's kiddie confetti. But the truth is, labels can have a negative effect on kids' self-esteem; they can spend their lifetime trying to overcome them.
So shut up. And don't even whisper or spell the word S-H-Y.
LJ is serious. She's contemplative. She's a Pisces. She's wary of strangers. (As she damn well should be!) Frankly, I'm glad she's not one of those Chatty Patty toddlers who blurt out, "Hi! I'm Emily! I live at 123 Smith Street. See the red house? Come on over and abduct me! Oh, and my mommy's 35 years old!"
Those who know my LJ— ahem, let me rephrase—those who have been let into LJ's inner circle, know that she's anything but shy. She's loving. She's generous. She's thoughtful. She's silly. She's hilarious. She just has to warm up to you before she lets her guard down. I was that way as a child. Her father was, too. (Still is.) It's not a bad way to be, really. Taking mental inventory of a situation or a person before diving in is a good relationship skill to have.
So, you, random person on the bus, all up in my daughter's grill, fawning over how pretty she is? You're not gonna get a response.
So please, before you call my daughter, or any kid, shy, stop yourself. Because unless you have a PhD in psychology, you don't know what you're talking about. And one day, I might not be so shy and let you have it.
Imagine if we were so quick to judge everyone like we do little kids. "Excuse me, sir. You're not ordering a salad? Oh, I see. That's because you're a fat slob." Doesn't really work, huh? Yet folks throw around the "shy" word like it's kiddie confetti. But the truth is, labels can have a negative effect on kids' self-esteem; they can spend their lifetime trying to overcome them.
So shut up. And don't even whisper or spell the word S-H-Y.
LJ is serious. She's contemplative. She's a Pisces. She's wary of strangers. (As she damn well should be!) Frankly, I'm glad she's not one of those Chatty Patty toddlers who blurt out, "Hi! I'm Emily! I live at 123 Smith Street. See the red house? Come on over and abduct me! Oh, and my mommy's 35 years old!"
Those who know my LJ— ahem, let me rephrase—those who have been let into LJ's inner circle, know that she's anything but shy. She's loving. She's generous. She's thoughtful. She's silly. She's hilarious. She just has to warm up to you before she lets her guard down. I was that way as a child. Her father was, too. (Still is.) It's not a bad way to be, really. Taking mental inventory of a situation or a person before diving in is a good relationship skill to have.
So, you, random person on the bus, all up in my daughter's grill, fawning over how pretty she is? You're not gonna get a response.
So please, before you call my daughter, or any kid, shy, stop yourself. Because unless you have a PhD in psychology, you don't know what you're talking about. And one day, I might not be so shy and let you have it.
Submit!
