Lisa Whelchel: I Need a Time-Out!
Submitted by Lisa Whelchel
When my kids were younger and I felt that I needed to correct them, I'd often be tempted to yell. I was so frustrated because I'd already told them time and time again NOT to do something or to get ready or whatever.
But instead of screaming, I'd tell them to go sit on their bed or some other place that wasn't fun ... and I'd walk away for a minute or two. If I tried to talk to them when I was feeling so frustrated and angry, it would make the shields in their hearts go up and we wouldn't get anywhere.
I never considered that a "time-out," at least not for them. It was really a time-out for me! I needed to walk away from the situation to relax and pull myself together. Having that time to myself allowed me to reflect on why I was so angry. And realistically, I was angry because my child had just acted like a child.
After I calmed down I'd go in there and do what I love to do more than anything in the world: be a mommy. If I needed to be tough or listen or explain or persuade, at least then I could do it calmly, so they didn't feel like they were being attacked.
I say, when you're frustrated or beyond your threshold, take a second away from the situation so you can think about it. Yelling and screaming is never the answer.
Besides being a mom, Lisa Welchel is best known for her role as Blair on the TV show The Facts of Life. She is also the author of Creative Correction.
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