Un-Potty Training
Submitted by Erin
Do you think it's possible to un-potty train a kid?
I know, I know. Potty training is a milestone ... a rite of passage. I should be proud that my son is now a big boy and has tiny blue boxer briefs to show for it. But being a mom of a potty-trained kid isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Take yesterday for example. I was kind of on a roll. I had both kids out the door and in the car at a reasonable hour. Both kids had clothes on (so what if my son's shorts were a bit dirty) and both kids had eaten breakfast. I think I even combed my daughter's hair. Before you start patting me on the back, let me just tell you how the cookie crumbled (or the Lightning McQueen underpants unraveled if you will ...).
About 5 miles down the road, my son said those six dreaded words: "Mommy! I have to go potty!" Gulp. I squealed into the nearest gas station and ran into the minimart with a kid under each arm. I grabbed the key and raced to the bathroom.
My pride in making it that far without an accident was short-lived because when I stepped inside the tiny bathroom and saw the dingy, brown toilet and the filthy, wet paper towels on the floor, I wanted to turn and run. Of course, by now Joey was doing the dreaded "potty dance" and I had no choice.
As I piled 14 layers of one-ply onto the seat, he grabbed the roll of toilet paper and spun it around, pulling a long string out before I grabbed him and held him haphazardly over the toilet, begging him to pee quickly without so much as touching a single thing. Not a single thing.
We stood there for nearly an eternity, with me balancing a pantless 2-year-old on one knee with a baby in my arms and a grimy bathroom key between my chin and my shoulder. I oh-so-calmly cheered my son on as he squeezed out the teeniest, tiniest dribble of pee. I swear. Had he peed his pants, I doubt I would've noticed.
When he finished, he asked for a sticker.
I scrubbed him down with antibacterial gel and left before we all caught some deadly infection or worse, he decided he had to pee again.
I'm seriously considering weaning him off the big-boy drawers and putting him back into pull-ups. Maybe the under-drawers fairy can come get them and trade them for a fancy new box of diapers. I figure that after a few weeks, he'll forget all about the potty and I can switch out the pull-ups for regular old diapers and go back to my safe (and easy) diaper-changing world. I'll even give him a sticker every time he goes in his diaper without telling me about it.
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