Dealing With an Insulting Mother-in-Law

Honesty and personal responsibility are always the best policies. The fact is, your feelings are hurt at your mother-in-law's criticisms, and you would appreciate it if she would avoid these sensitive subjects.

Too often when we are hurt, we want to lash back and but are afraid of what might happen. So we hold it in to avoid possible reprisal. We clam up and fume silently, feeling hopeless about the situation or waiting for our partner to fix it. We end up with an internal Ping-Pong match to respond or not to respond. The trick is to develop a responsible, honest communication that does not criticize your mother-in-law but that expresses your feelings and desires in a responsible fashion.

Granted, it can be hard with your mother-in-law, but it's even more important to establish a relationship that works for you. To the best of your ability, tell her the truth about how you feel, and ask for what you want. And, it isn't just a one-time communication. Anytime that your mother-in-law jabs at you, be prepared to say, "That hurts. Your opinion matters to me, and it's hard to feel so criticized by you."

Finally, as with all criticisms, it's important to look to see if there is any truth to her comments. When you can acknowledge the truth of it while at the same time letting her know it hurts or that it is sensitive area for you, you will have come a long way toward establishing an honest, adult-to-adult relationship