Family Relationships: Letting Her Down Easy ...
My sister is also a stay-at-home mom, with a daughter a couple months younger than my daughter. She also has four step-kids. The house is chaotic and my sister does not stick to any type of schedule. I've always used a schedule for my daughter and it just works better for her and me. My sister's daughter and my daughter are totally different. My daughter wakes up every day at 7 AM and goes down for her nap between 11:30 and 12:30 and sleeps for two hours, then is up until 6 PM and down for her nap. My sister and her daughter take several hour naps a day. My sister plays on the computer all day and ignores her kid a lot. My mom just told me how she allowed her daughter to play with a Styrofoam bowl and she ate it. Like she actually ate the whole bowl except for one little piece. My mom has also told me she walked downstairs and found the baby unattended playing with a plastic grocery bag. The house is really old and they use a wood-burning stove to warm it up. They just have a little metal gate type thing that could easily be pushed over to block it off. I don't feel comfortable sending my daughter over there for any amount of time.
How can I tell her I don't want her to babysit without hurting her feelings? I don't think I am wrong at all for not wanting her to watch my child. From the things I've seen and heard, she is not a very good caregiver. Also our parenting styles are totally different. I don't give my daughter lots of processed foods and snacks. I feel these types of foods should be eaten in moderation only. Her whole family lives off these types of foods and I've already gotten in an argument once with her for giving my daughter marshmallows and trying to give her soda.
I would much rather my daughter go to a preschool-oriented day care. She is only 14 months so she can't go to preschool yet. Please, any suggestions on how to get out of this situation without ruining a family relationship?