My middle child seems so subdued compared to his other siblings. I worry that he's getting lost in the shuffle. What can I do to help him?

We've all heard about the "middle child syndrome." He's neither the oldest nor the baby, so exactly where does this middle son fit in and how can we make him stand out? Here are a couple of suggestions.

First, avoid lumping the kids together. I would sometimes refer to my three sons as "the boys," which suggests that they were alike and could be treated as a single entity. Of course, that's not true for any children, even identical twins. What's important to remember is that each child has his own unique personality and needs. While your other sons might be dramatic, your middle son may be more quiet and self-contained because that is his personality, not because he is being overshadowed by his louder siblings. Take time to observe him without the chaos of his brothers. Does he seem happy? Could it be that he is just a quieter kid?

Then—I know it's hard when you've got a full household—it's important to carve out one-on-one time for each child on a regular, frequent basis. It doesn't have to be a full day of undivided attention. It can be as simple as a car ride to the store or a story at bedtime without the other kids. Make sure you have a few minutes with each boy so he has the opportunity to talk to you alone. Most of the time, these conversations are full of silly banter, playground gossip, complaints, baseball statistics, etc. But by focusing on what each boy likes, dislikes, needs, wonders about, you reinforce the message that he is important and that you recognize that he is an individual, while giving a boost to his self-esteem and self-confidence.