Mom Confession: I'm a Facebook Addict
I check Facebook about 10 times a day. Maybe 20. But I don't update my status every time I check it because that would be crazy. And I don't have a Facebook "problem" ... don't listen to my husband. I don't have time for a Facebook addiction. In fact, I have no free time at all. I barely have enough time to scan my newsfeed once or twice an hour. So I don't even know what he's talking about.
He's just pouting because I was watching a video of this really cute baby laughing, and I guess I was distracted when he asked me if I could please turn off the oven. Apparently I said something that he heard as "OK" and he took that to mean affirmative and now for some reason he blames me that his dinner got all burned and firey. Men get so grouchy when they're hungry.
But I totally don't have a problem. And also? I'm not one of those annoying Facebook people. I don't write nastygrams like: "Some people don't understand the importance of being on time to PTA meetings and that's why they don't get elected vice president." That's so stupid. No one wants to be vice president. What if the president gets assassinated and then you have to fly to Dallas and take an oath and you end up with more responsibility and work? Who wants that?
And I don't do the stupid updates like "I'm drinking coffee now," followed 20 minutes later by "Time to take a shower!" Those people need to get a life, right? Heh heh. Not like me. I'm a lurker and we all know that lurking is awesome. Unless it's in person and you do it outside because then it's stalking, and that's illegal and bad.
And the games ... Farmville? Ridiculous. It's not like Bejewelled Blitz. Or Zuma. They're pretty cool. Except I can only play Zuma with the sound off because when my kids hear it, they start whining because they claim I ignore them when I play it.
GAHHHHHHH!!! OK! I have a problem! I need a 12-step program! I hate Facebook but I can't stop! I am the biggest dork of all time and I'm more annoying than even the people who post updates about their cats' health problems! Even when I want to get away from it, I can't because invariably someone will call me and say "DID YOU SEE WHAT JENNY JUST POSTED?! OMG!"
And I want to scream "We are adults! We are not teenagers! Even if we are painfully immature! We have to stop the insanity!" But then I get curious and I check again and I see something like the Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger and I'm all, "If Facebook is wrong, I don't want to be right."
Hi. My name is Julie and I have a Facebook problem.
He's just pouting because I was watching a video of this really cute baby laughing, and I guess I was distracted when he asked me if I could please turn off the oven. Apparently I said something that he heard as "OK" and he took that to mean affirmative and now for some reason he blames me that his dinner got all burned and firey. Men get so grouchy when they're hungry.
But I totally don't have a problem. And also? I'm not one of those annoying Facebook people. I don't write nastygrams like: "Some people don't understand the importance of being on time to PTA meetings and that's why they don't get elected vice president." That's so stupid. No one wants to be vice president. What if the president gets assassinated and then you have to fly to Dallas and take an oath and you end up with more responsibility and work? Who wants that?
And I don't do the stupid updates like "I'm drinking coffee now," followed 20 minutes later by "Time to take a shower!" Those people need to get a life, right? Heh heh. Not like me. I'm a lurker and we all know that lurking is awesome. Unless it's in person and you do it outside because then it's stalking, and that's illegal and bad.
And the games ... Farmville? Ridiculous. It's not like Bejewelled Blitz. Or Zuma. They're pretty cool. Except I can only play Zuma with the sound off because when my kids hear it, they start whining because they claim I ignore them when I play it.
GAHHHHHHH!!! OK! I have a problem! I need a 12-step program! I hate Facebook but I can't stop! I am the biggest dork of all time and I'm more annoying than even the people who post updates about their cats' health problems! Even when I want to get away from it, I can't because invariably someone will call me and say "DID YOU SEE WHAT JENNY JUST POSTED?! OMG!"
And I want to scream "We are adults! We are not teenagers! Even if we are painfully immature! We have to stop the insanity!" But then I get curious and I check again and I see something like the Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger and I'm all, "If Facebook is wrong, I don't want to be right."
Hi. My name is Julie and I have a Facebook problem.
From Julianna W. Miner of Rants from Mommyland
Provided byJulianna W. Miner
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