Dating After Divorce

Regardless of how long you were married, it is natural to have some anxiety around getting back into the dating pool. We all grieve the end of a relationship differently; likewise we are all on different timetables for healing. There is no right timetable for dating after the end of a marriage.

To know if you are ready to start dating, ask yourself a few questions.

• Are you still counting the days since the divorce?
• Do you find yourself thinking about your ex often throughout the day?
• Does the thought of your ex dating someone new make you feel sad or angry?
• Is the only reason you want to date to make your ex jealous?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, you're still hurting. Don't worry: It's normal to feel hurt after a divorce. However, it may not be the right time to start dating.

Sometimes, a person who is still grieving will see dating as an opportunity to not be alone. Keep in mind that dating in order to feel wanted or desired can cause more pain. If you are still hurting over your divorce, consider focusing your time and energy on your career, friends and family. It may be helpful to talk with a professional.

If you answered mostly no to the questions above, you are most likely ready to get your feet wet in the dating pool. Think of dating at this time as an opportunity to meet new people and discover new things about yourself. Feeling scared and even a little anxious about dating is perfectly normal. To reduce the anxiety, think of dating as an opportunity to socialize. It's important when starting to date after divorce not to confuse dating with finding a new relationship. Otherwise, you're likely to mistake the opportunity to meet someone new with the need to interview for a potential long-term partner.