Good Date Ideas: "Us Time"

Well, I'll start by saying that the answer probably depends on the age of your child. If you have a newborn or older infant, it may simply be that you and your partner are still in the process of developing new routines that will eventually work better for you. Even with an older baby, there is a fine line to walk when it comes to family time versus "us time." Even if you have had time to adjust and are simply unhappy with the new routine, I caution you to first examine your expectations. Babies are very dependent on their parents, and parenthood itself can be so tiring that one or the other of you may not have energy to participate in "us time."

However, I agree that parents need time for themselves both as a couple and individually. Date nights are a good idea, and they don't always have to be nights. Taking time during the day or weekends to do something active together or even to have a meal is quality time and a good way to reconnect. This is where managing your expectations comes into play. For example, for many first-time parents, leaving their child with a babysitter is a difficult thing to do. Don't be afraid to enlist family and friends to help—most of them will be happy to. If you lack those resources, be outgoing and ask around to your neighbors and friends in order to find a trustworthy babysitter for your date nights. If your child is in daycare, don't hesitate to ask your provider if he or she babysits after hours.

If you are unable to find reliable childcare, don't hesitate to focus your efforts on getting your child into a good nighttime routine so that he or she goes to bed and leaves you a couple of good hours to spare with your partner (this will also depend on the age of your child). Once the child is sleeping, be sure you prioritize downtime and togetherness—a good date at home is still a date! Your house does not need to be spotless, and some of those daily chores can wait. Bring food home when you can and don't feel guilty about putting Baby Mozart in the DVD player to buy yourself a half hour of quiet time together. Your child won't suffer from a little TV if it means strengthening your relationship as a couple.

And, last but not least, it's a good idea not to forget that you and your partner can take turns playing with your child so that you each have some time away from each other as well.