If you're the one who is high in baby-makin' mode, you may feel very frustrated—and even hurt—by your partner's hesitance in starting a family.
Here are a few tips on handling this very tough situation as a couple:
Maintain the dialogue.It may be extremely difficult to hear your partner say why he's not ready to start a family, but it's important to listen and fully consider what he has to say. You need to learn whether he's saying "no, but only for now" or "no forever," and find out if you can do anything to help address his concerns. (It could very well be that he's worried that having kids will make him the sole provider whether he's ready or not!)
Discuss things other than your baby, like making plans.Don't let one rough spot become the major focus of your entire relationship—if you do, there could be trouble down the road. Instead, find ways to stay connected as a couple while navigate this bump in the relationship.
Outlaw the blame game.Do not—we repeat—do not try to place the blame for your partner's lack of enthusiasm on his job, his mother or other aspects of his life. Just simply accept that he's not yet ready. Playing the blame game will muddy the waters (and maybe alienate your mother-in-law!).
Accept that you can't force someone to have a baby with you any more than you can force him (or her) to fall in love with you.It can be extremely disappointing—and even heartbreaking—to learn that you and your supposed soul mate are not yet on the same page (maybe even in the same book) when it comes to something as important as having children, but that doesn't mean you can bully him into starting a family. Of course, you want your kids to have a father who will be a dad in the truest sense of the word—not just someone who felt forced into starting a family with the woman he loves.report abuse