Do-It-Yourself, Free Couples Therapy

Relationship questions: My husband and I are considering couples therapy, but we're wondering if we can work on our relationship on our own. Is there such a thing as Do-It-Yourself couples therapy?

Relationship advice: Good for you for thinking outside of the therapy box! In fact, although it's unconventional, do-it-yourself couples therapy does exist and it's a heck of a lot cheaper than regular couples therapy (in fact, it's free!). Here is some advice about do-it-yourself couples therapy:

• You'll need to be very dedicated and structured if you want do-it-yourself couples therapy to work. Schedule regular appointments and keep them. It's too easy to "cancel" a session because you have to work late. Take your commitment to therapy seriously—pretend that you'll have to pay a cancellation fee!
  
• Try your best to discuss relationship issues calmly and respectfully. This isn't the time for accusations or name-calling.
  
• Truly listen to each other. You might even set a timer to be sure that both of you get a chance to speak.
  
• Ask yourself relationship questions—what is your goal of therapy? Where do you see your relationship in 5 years? 10 years?
  
• You might consider purchasing a do-it-yourself couples therapy packet online or use a couples therapy book as a guide.
  
• Assign each other homework—things to work on during the week before your next session.
  
• Work to improve yourself—not just your partner. Accept responsibility for mistakes you have made and be committed to making changes.

For any kind of couples therapy to be successful, you both have to take a proactive approach—especially in do-it-yourself free couples therapy! It's an investment (of time, not money!) that may well be worth it.