Healthy Relationships: Your Husband Needs Attention Too!
My husband is complaining that he feels neglected since our daughter was born. How should I respond?
A new baby dramatically changes how a couple relates, so it's not surprising that it will take you both a while to adjust. Sustaining a healthy relationship between the two of you takes a bit of effort and some creative planning. You may be wondering why he is not more considerate of you and all of the new demands on your time, and he is wondering why you are neglecting him. And this is the very time you need each other—and need to work on maintaining a healthy relationship.
Here's some relationship advice about how to keep a relationship healthy after baby arrives:
report abuseA new baby dramatically changes how a couple relates, so it's not surprising that it will take you both a while to adjust. Sustaining a healthy relationship between the two of you takes a bit of effort and some creative planning. You may be wondering why he is not more considerate of you and all of the new demands on your time, and he is wondering why you are neglecting him. And this is the very time you need each other—and need to work on maintaining a healthy relationship.
Here's some relationship advice about how to keep a relationship healthy after baby arrives:
- Your husband feels abandoned and jealous, but also perhaps a little bit useless. Has he asked to help with the baby? If not, can you ask him for help? He may be nervous about taking care of the baby. Have you taught him basic baby care? The more involved he is, the more he will feel as if you're on the same team.
- Let your husband know that you need him to be your partner in parenting. A healthy relationship demands that you both make time to talk about this major change in your lives!
- To maintain a healthy relationship, you and your husband need to make time for each other apart from the baby. Maybe plan a date night to do something you enjoyed doing before the baby came along.
- Connect with other new moms for support. It may be helpful to hear their relationship advice about how they are maintaining a healthy relationship with their partner.
- Figure out times for just the two of you to be together to focus on keeping your relationship healthy. Hire a regular babysitter so you can spend time together as a couple. Or else make weekend plans at home: Invite friends over, asking them to bring part of the meal so you are not adding to your workload, but moving full attention away from the baby.
- Carve out time every evening to sit down and catch up on your day—perhaps coffee or tea after the baby is asleep. Ask him about work and what went on so that the focus moves a bit from the baby. A healthy relationship takes ongoing effort—even when you're both sleep-deprived and distracted!
Submit!
