Healthy Relationships: Clear the Clutter

I wrote the book The Lazy Husband for a reason: My wife calls me a lazy husband in recovery.

If you want my relationship advice, you have to move to some kind of compromise in the middle. It isn't like one way is the right way. Neater people tend to feel moral self-righteousness: that neat is the way is should be, and clutter is wrong.

Some people like clutter, some are comforted by it and some just don't care. Some people are busy focusing on other things and see cleaning as a low priority.

The person who isn't bothered by clutter has to accept the fact they are living with someone who likes a neat house, and the person who is neater has to recognize that they are with someone who is bothered by it; and they have to meet somewhere in the middle.

The messy person is going to have to be much neater than they would if they were living alone and the super neat person is going to have to accept much more clutter than if he or she were living alone. Sometimes it helps to give the messier person one room or part of the house. That way the neater person can toss the partner's clutter in that room.

Remember: healthy relationships rely on give and take. Keep things in perspective. Is it really such a big deal that he forgot to toss his dirty socks in the laundry? If that's the biggest issue in your marriage, then you've got a pretty healthy relationship!