Submitted by cedardryad
Are there any couples out there that aren't married but consider themselves to be? My "husband" and I have been together on and off for seven years. The longest we've been together without a small breakup is three years, which is our current run. We both have varying views on marriage. Honestly, I think a couple is married when they consider themselves to be. The state shouldn't have a say in it. I think that common-law marriages should be reinstated. You should just go and apply for a license or a certificate. Originally we both wanted to get married, but a lot of hardships have changed my partner's views. His parents are divorced and his mom is going through a second one. He has trust issues so he assumes I'll cheat on him or leave him if we marry. I tried to convince him that it would be different for us, but the more I bring it up the angrier he gets. We both agreed that if we do get married it will be for insurance reasons and to make the paperwork easier when it comes to wills and health care proxies. We believe that you don't have to be married to be in love.
Currently I'm reading a book about the history of marriage and up until the 1950s, no one got married for love. If a person loved someone, they didn't necessarily marry them. Marriages were only for business purposes. And many cultures considered a couple married if they simply lived together.
We refer to each other as husband and wife. Sometimes I just tell people I'm permanently engaged. We've been engaged for three years now—although, oddly enough, my "husband" forgets this little fact sometimes.
So how many couples, gay or straight, who aren't married consider themselves to be? Do you ever want to get married? Or do you think that you don't need a piece of paper or a ceremony to prove to people what you already know in your heart?