No Going Back
Submitted by MariMK
My husband and I parted a few months ago. We'd had problems for years and had tried to work it out, but he was an alcoholic who'd refused to seek treatment and it finally got to a breaking point and I took our son and the dog and split.
He's since received help for his problem, but the REAL problem, unfortunately, is explaining it to our son. I'm not willing to share my very adult issues about his father ... the drinking, the abuse ... as a way to explain why Dad and Mom will never get back together.
Naturally my son is 6 and wants things "back the way they were." He doesn't mind "all the screaming." But my ex clearly wants us to get back together and I'm afraid our son is getting mixed signals. My ex wants to come over for dinner, wants us to do family things together, wants to drive us to and from the airport. He always asks these questions in front of our son, which makes me look like this unforgiving, cold person. He's trying to manipulate the situation, but I don't know how to explain to our son why I have to keep saying no.
I've spoken to my ex about not bringing these questions up in front of our son, that there is no way we'll get back together, but I have no clue how to explain this to a 6-year-old. Any thoughts? He's been clean for a long time, but we've been here before. And I've had to call the police more than once ... there's no way I'd go back.
He's since received help for his problem, but the REAL problem, unfortunately, is explaining it to our son. I'm not willing to share my very adult issues about his father ... the drinking, the abuse ... as a way to explain why Dad and Mom will never get back together.
Naturally my son is 6 and wants things "back the way they were." He doesn't mind "all the screaming." But my ex clearly wants us to get back together and I'm afraid our son is getting mixed signals. My ex wants to come over for dinner, wants us to do family things together, wants to drive us to and from the airport. He always asks these questions in front of our son, which makes me look like this unforgiving, cold person. He's trying to manipulate the situation, but I don't know how to explain to our son why I have to keep saying no.
I've spoken to my ex about not bringing these questions up in front of our son, that there is no way we'll get back together, but I have no clue how to explain this to a 6-year-old. Any thoughts? He's been clean for a long time, but we've been here before. And I've had to call the police more than once ... there's no way I'd go back.
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