My wife and my best friend (who's a bachelor) can't get along. What should I do?

There's nothing like a friend. He bailed you out of the police station that year you got into a fight on spring break; he drove you home when you overdid it at college parties; and he conveniently called you with an "emergency" when you wanted to escape from a bad blind date. Now that you're married, if you're wondering why your wife isn't wild about him, it's probably for the reasons you love him so much!

Many wives look back at the days of their husbands' bachelorhood and want to put them long in the past. That's actually not so bad, since studies show that when men get married they do drink more moderately, drive more cautiously and engage in less reckless behavior. It may be that your wife sees your buddy as an instigator tempting you back into your premarriage days. Or, she might be jealous of your years of closeness and feel she can't compete with him for your devotion.

The first order of business is to make your wife absolutely clear on where your priorities are (hint: she should be #1 in your eyes). If your wife feels like you're on her side, she won't feel so threatened by your buddy. While you're doing this, ask your friend for some space to set things right. This shouldn't be a competition, after all. If he's a friend for life, he'll agree to back off for a while. If he can't make the transition himself, that just might prove that your wife had a point.

After a while, agree to meet your friend for specific time-limited events, such as the NCAA Final Four play-offs, or for a fundraiser for your religious institution. As your wife begins to feel more at ease about your pal's influence, you can begin to invite him into your lives together.