Where Have All the Cat Calls Gone?

Before I got pregnant, I was the recipient of a good deal of male attention. Not that I look like Cindy Crawford or anything, but I garnered the occasional whistle and usually got an appreciative glance from gentlemen I passed on the street. ("Gentlemen" might be a bit of a stretch, but you know what I mean.)

Now that I'm a mom … nada! They see the stroller and it's like I have suddenly disappeared or something. I feel like Harry Potter donning his invisibility cloak. Not that I'm not completely happy basking solely in my husband's attention. (Which, I must add, never wavered; not even at the peak of my pregnancy when I weighed 25 pounds more than he did and farted so often our bed smelled like the outhouse at a rock concert. I married a good guy.) But, c'mon, a girl can use a little ego boost once in a while. Especially when she feels like the schlep of all schleps with mac-n-cheese-coated hair and a spit-up-stained T-shirt. (Is that why they're not looking?)

It all began when I started showing five months into my pregnancy. Guys would look at my boobs (why do they always start there?) and seemed satisfied enough with what they saw to move on to my face before their glance would drift down to my big pregnant belly, at which point they would jolt out of their reverie. I literally saw a few guys jump in disgust. Nice.

When guys used to ogle me, I always felt annoyed and objectified. I'd tell the really nasty ones where they could shove it. But now that no one looks, I want those oglers back! I would even take an obnoxious cat call at this point! Something, anything to let me know that I am still an attractive female. I mean, I'm still young(ish) and hot (enough). My husband tells me I'm a MILF, bless his kind soul, but apparently he's the only guy who thinks so.