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Spice Up the Bedroom: How to Hide Your Sex Toys from the Kids

Sex toys are a great way to spice up the bedroom, but anyone who's ever had their kid walk into a room full of company wielding a 6-inch dildo yelling, "Mommy, what's this big finger for?" knows the importance of hiding them! (And let's admit it, the sock drawer just doesn't cut it.) Here are 4 ways to hide your sex toys from the kids:
  • If you're lucky enough to have a bedside table with a drawer that locks, you're in business. Lock it and keep the key stashed on a high shelf where your pint-sized explorer can't find it.
  • Toss 'em in a safe or a basic lockbox from the hardware store and tell your kid you've got super important, incredibly boring, grownup documents in there. Yawn!
  • One great way to hide your toys, especially from older kids, is to tuck 'em in something they'd never, ever in a million years have any interest in touching —like a book. Pick up one of those faux, hollowed out books and toss all your paraphernalia in there.
  • Tuck 'em in a shoebox and store it waaayyy up high on a top shelf in the back of your closet. If your kid asks why you never wear those shoes, tell her you're waiting for them to come back in style. (Hey, if stirrup pants came back, anything can!)
The most important thing to remember is that even if your kid does happen upon your sex toys, it's not the end of the world. Mama's allowed to have some special toys too! How else is she supposed to spice up the bedroom after 10 years of doing it with the same guy? Just fib about what they're used for ... and hide 'em better next time!
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