How to Spice Up Your Sex Life After You've Had a Baby

Let's talk about sex, baby. Now that there's a baby in your house, chances are spicing up your sex life is the last thing on your mind. Besides having a wailing newborn who needs your attention 24/7, your body has also been through quite a lot and you may be experiencing some major turnoffs including a sore perineum, heavy postpartum bleeding and sleep deprivation. No wonder your sex drive is at a 0.

But luckily it won't stay that way forever. There will come a day in the not-too-distant future where you'll want to spice up your sex life again! A University of Wisconsin study of 570 new parents found that it generally takes bottle-feeding parents about seven weeks and breastfeeding parents about eight weeks to start having sex after having a baby. Only 17% of couples reported having sexual intercourse during the month after childbirth. While there's typically some sexual contact during the postpartum period—65% of women in the University of Wisconsin study reported engaging in some form of sexual touching and 34% reported having performed oral sex on their partner during the first few weeks after the birth—many women choose to hold off on having sex after having a baby until after their six-week checkup because of fatigue, postpartum discomfort, or because they're waiting to get the go-ahead from their doctor or midwife that their bodies are healing properly after the delivery.

It takes time to process everything your body has been through from pregnancy and giving birth, and it's hard not to see your body in a different light. While you may be concerned that your partner may not find you as attractive because you're a few pounds heavier than you were nine months ago or because there's a cesarean scar on your tummy, that's not usually the case. Of course, some new dads do go through a period of adjustment after the birth. Now their wives' bodies aren't just objects for pleasure; they're biological factories capable of producing human beings! Before you know it, you'll both be on the same page and ready to spice up your sex life. Then you'll just have to squeeze it in before your baby wakes up looking for food.

Here are some tips to help make your first post-baby rendezvous as stress-free as possible:

Ease into things. There may be some tenderness the first time you do it, especially if your episiotomy site hasn't had the chance to heal completely. And even after the stitches have healed, it can take months for the soreness in the area to disappear.

Mix it up with different positions. As much you may love the traditional missionary position, it tends to put pressure right on the very area where you're most likely to be sore—on your perineum. So, you might prefer to spice up your sex life and do it in other positions (e.g., side-lying or woman-on-top).

Lubricate yourself. Even if lubrication isn't normally an issue for you, it could be after the delivery. Why? Breastfeeding hormones tend to dry up your vaginal secretions, which means there's less lubrication down there. Over-the-counter water-soluble lube will do the trick for most couples, but don't be afraid to ask your doc for a prescription for estrogen cream if vaginal dryness is a particular problem for you.

Be prepared for things to feel different. If you gave birth vaginally, it may feel a little looser down there than it did prior to the delivery. To help regain vaginal muscle tone, you can do regular Kegel exercises.

Don't cry over spilt milk. You may end up leaking breast milk during sex or your breasts may feel uncomfortable if your partner puts any weight on them. The solution to both problems is to feed your baby right before you have sex.

Don't forget to think about birth control. There's a very good chance that you'll ovulate before you get your first period—something you might want to bear in mind if you're not exactly eager to see the pregnancy test come back positive again just yet.