Adventures of a Bipolar, Junkfood Junkie, Struggling Mom
Submitted by PixyMom4408
I was 22 when I became pregnant. It was a very much wanted pregnancy even though we were both so broke we lived with his parents, unmarried (been together only a few months) and well ... fighting a lot. But for some reason—and I blame my being so impulsive—we thought, hey, we want to be parents. Everything went by so fast and I don't regret one second (however, I wouldn't recommend it, I was just lucky).
We got married in December and had my son in April 2008. By then my hubby had two jobs, we had moved twice (once we were thrown out of his parents house, then we couldn't make the rent for the two-bedroom we got so we moved to a VERY small one-bedroom).
It didn't matter when it came to my baby though—he didn't want for a thing. Being a person who has a HUGE family, we got everything he needed (and then some) at the baby shower and we made ends meat. Well, we did for a while at least. The hubs lost his job and we had to move in with my parents.
Because it would be impossible to completely explain my father in less than a 5,000-page book, I will try to sum him up as best I can—please take my word for it. My father loves his kids, he openly admits he wishes he didn't have any because he says he cares so much for us all it hurts, and I believe that. He went and spent like $10,000 on my wedding then about the same building onto his house for us to live there.
However, on the other hand, due to some serious problems growing up, my dad has two major issues. One is the control issue: He must control EVERYTHING ... and I mean EVERYTHING, clothes (color, kind, brand), the way we spend OUR money, what car we drive, when and how we go out, etc. He MUST control everything ... TWO is a serious issue with weight. Not his, everyone elses. And when I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE.
People sit across from him who may be a bit overweight at a restaurant, COMPLETE STRANGERS, and whatever they order makes him angry. When it comes to me and my mother, forget about it. Food is a huge no-no in our house: He believes anorexia is the way to go. I blame him for my serious obsession with food and I mean OBSESSION. I think about food every 5 min AT LEAST and I think about how fat I am every 2 min. It's a constant battle in my head, but the food always wins and that's why I am overweight.
I don't want my son to have these issues, and it's because of this and many other reasons why my husband and I are trying to get the heck out of here.
My husband has gotten back to having two jobs now, and we are saving again. This time we are saving a lot before we move because we never ever ever want to have to live with ANYONE again. It's hard on us, we don't spend a lot of time together, and it's HORRIBLE for him because he doesn't sleep a lot. A few hours here, a few there, only his day off allows for a solid eight hours (or more). We were going through a lot of bumps at first, but lately we are closer than ever (but let's all remember the title to this "spill": The bipolar part of me may show up next week on a rant on how much I can't stand him).
But as of now, I can say I adore him. For example, working two jobs, he had a day off and slept, so today when he got his eight hours (though he started work again at 6 PM), he thought before work he'd go out with me. My parents took the baby while we went to find me some truffles I've been wanting. The chocolate factory by our house turns out is closed Saturdays, so did we go home? Nope, even with such little time to use on himself he took the time and went on a huge search for my truffles. (By the way, we ended up at Godiva, and if you like chocolate, I suggest you sign up for a free Godiva card ... not a credit card, just a little card like those you get at CVS, you get a free piece of chocolate every month). Since the second job, the hubbs has been buying me stuff with the little money we allow ourselves a week. I appreciate him so much.
Anyhoo I digress ... Now with the plans of moving finally within view, we also have been talking about having another baby. I am the baby of six kids and, well, when I say baby, I mean baby. My siblings were all SO much older and I felt apart from them and so I don't want any of my kids to feel alone. I want to have my kids within three years of each other (I want three or four). We plan on waiting till next year (Jan. or Feb.), but I want to make sure we are where we want to be by then, my husband just wants another baby no matter what. I'm still trying to get my 15-month-old to sleep past 4:30 AM (the hubs works at night so I'm alone at that). I dunno, it seems my whole life I've jumped in and out of things, and it worked out.
I guess we'll see what happens, but for now I'm on my birth control pills living in my parents' house, overweight, with my 15-month-old and little time for romance.
There ... now you're caught up :)
It didn't matter when it came to my baby though—he didn't want for a thing. Being a person who has a HUGE family, we got everything he needed (and then some) at the baby shower and we made ends meat. Well, we did for a while at least. The hubs lost his job and we had to move in with my parents.
Because it would be impossible to completely explain my father in less than a 5,000-page book, I will try to sum him up as best I can—please take my word for it. My father loves his kids, he openly admits he wishes he didn't have any because he says he cares so much for us all it hurts, and I believe that. He went and spent like $10,000 on my wedding then about the same building onto his house for us to live there.
However, on the other hand, due to some serious problems growing up, my dad has two major issues. One is the control issue: He must control EVERYTHING ... and I mean EVERYTHING, clothes (color, kind, brand), the way we spend OUR money, what car we drive, when and how we go out, etc. He MUST control everything ... TWO is a serious issue with weight. Not his, everyone elses. And when I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE.
People sit across from him who may be a bit overweight at a restaurant, COMPLETE STRANGERS, and whatever they order makes him angry. When it comes to me and my mother, forget about it. Food is a huge no-no in our house: He believes anorexia is the way to go. I blame him for my serious obsession with food and I mean OBSESSION. I think about food every 5 min AT LEAST and I think about how fat I am every 2 min. It's a constant battle in my head, but the food always wins and that's why I am overweight.
I don't want my son to have these issues, and it's because of this and many other reasons why my husband and I are trying to get the heck out of here.
My husband has gotten back to having two jobs now, and we are saving again. This time we are saving a lot before we move because we never ever ever want to have to live with ANYONE again. It's hard on us, we don't spend a lot of time together, and it's HORRIBLE for him because he doesn't sleep a lot. A few hours here, a few there, only his day off allows for a solid eight hours (or more). We were going through a lot of bumps at first, but lately we are closer than ever (but let's all remember the title to this "spill": The bipolar part of me may show up next week on a rant on how much I can't stand him).
But as of now, I can say I adore him. For example, working two jobs, he had a day off and slept, so today when he got his eight hours (though he started work again at 6 PM), he thought before work he'd go out with me. My parents took the baby while we went to find me some truffles I've been wanting. The chocolate factory by our house turns out is closed Saturdays, so did we go home? Nope, even with such little time to use on himself he took the time and went on a huge search for my truffles. (By the way, we ended up at Godiva, and if you like chocolate, I suggest you sign up for a free Godiva card ... not a credit card, just a little card like those you get at CVS, you get a free piece of chocolate every month). Since the second job, the hubbs has been buying me stuff with the little money we allow ourselves a week. I appreciate him so much.
Anyhoo I digress ... Now with the plans of moving finally within view, we also have been talking about having another baby. I am the baby of six kids and, well, when I say baby, I mean baby. My siblings were all SO much older and I felt apart from them and so I don't want any of my kids to feel alone. I want to have my kids within three years of each other (I want three or four). We plan on waiting till next year (Jan. or Feb.), but I want to make sure we are where we want to be by then, my husband just wants another baby no matter what. I'm still trying to get my 15-month-old to sleep past 4:30 AM (the hubs works at night so I'm alone at that). I dunno, it seems my whole life I've jumped in and out of things, and it worked out.
I guess we'll see what happens, but for now I'm on my birth control pills living in my parents' house, overweight, with my 15-month-old and little time for romance.
There ... now you're caught up :)
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