Getting Some Balance in Your Life
If life is feeling über out-of-control, you're probably doing one of two things: taking on too much responsibility or worrying excessively. And as parents, we're often guilty of both! Rather than spinning in circles, try these no-nonsense tips for getting things back in balance.
Realize that you can't solve every problem. How do you get one kid to the softball field and one to a friend's party 20 miles away—at the same time—with no help? You can't. When your life is out of balance, you are most likely spending a great deal of time trying to fix unfixable problems. Then when you fail at that, you become more agitated and try even harder to keep things from "going wrong." Better to simply accept that some problems are unsolvable and have as much of an, "Oh well!" attitude as possible.
Realize that not all problems or complaints are your responsibility to solve. Even when they're your kid's problems. If your daughter insists you take her to the mall so she won't miss time with her friends—and you have other plans—it isn't your responsibility. It's totally fair for you to tell her you have other plans ... and remind her to plan ahead with you next time.
Accept the reality of the moment, don't fight it. When you are agitated or upset you are really claiming, "This should not be happening!"—when it clearly is. When you emotionally resist reality, you never win. It's like jumping off a roof and expecting to fly. So next time you're stuck in traffic, or the Cheerios are all over the floor, or your night out is canceled because your child is sick, tell yourself, "I accept what is happening even if I do not like it." It won't make everything better, but it will help put you in a calmer place.
Listen to music. Listening to music or singing a song activates the right and left sides of your brain and helps you feel less stressed.
Workout. We know you hear it all the time, but working out really does work wonders! Exercise also happens to be another genius activity that uses both sides of the brain.
Have faith. No matter how much we'd like to believe it, we can't control everything. Parents worry about their children's safety practically every day—it's a never-ending concern. If you try to analyze every possible thing that could go wrong, you'll be stressed to the max. If at all possible, tell yourself, "I have to trust and have faith that things will be OK." Fix what you can, and have faith (in something or someone) that the rest will work itself out.
Provided byDr. Paul Coleman
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