Stay-at-Home Dad Friendships
I am a stay-at-home dad. How can I become part of the cliques of moms I see at the park and library?
The first thing to think about is whether you are trying to break into a group of moms, or is it truly a clique? If you're even halfway comfortable making new acquaintances and want to be included in a mom's group at the playground, library or even at the local Y, then you can approach meeting moms as you would any other group. Showing up regularly, being warm and approachable, and interacting with the moms about topics relating to your kids should be sufficient to give you and the moms a chance to get acquainted and hopefully, build friendships. People who are able to do this often end up breaking through the stereotypes of moms who may think that the stay-at-home dad is "filling in" or giving mom "a day off."
However, if you are truly facing a clique where participation seems exclusive, I wonder if this clique is worth the time, energy and possible frustration of trying to join, particularly if it feels like an unfriendly environment. Being a parent—especially a stay-at-home parent—is hard enough without bringing additional stress into our friendships. I'm sure you can find activities where you feel your participation is welcome and where you and your child feel comfortable interacting, given your own comfort level in social situations.
For some dads, there are fewer opportunities for these in-person meetings. Some dads may also just be too shy to try to develop these friendships. In either case, many stay-at-home dads are turning to the Internet to connect with other stay-at-home dads online (using forums, blogs, parenting websites, etc.) or even starting their own stay-at-home dad groups.
In the end, it doesn't matter how a stay-at-home dad (or mom) is able to overcome the sense of isolation and loneliness that comes with their role as full-time parent. As long as you are able to establish connections with others, to have people to share your frustrations and to brag about your joys, it will be good for your entire family. Whether you are the mother or father, when the primary caregiver of the family feels healthier, the rest of the family often does, too.
However, if you are truly facing a clique where participation seems exclusive, I wonder if this clique is worth the time, energy and possible frustration of trying to join, particularly if it feels like an unfriendly environment. Being a parent—especially a stay-at-home parent—is hard enough without bringing additional stress into our friendships. I'm sure you can find activities where you feel your participation is welcome and where you and your child feel comfortable interacting, given your own comfort level in social situations.
For some dads, there are fewer opportunities for these in-person meetings. Some dads may also just be too shy to try to develop these friendships. In either case, many stay-at-home dads are turning to the Internet to connect with other stay-at-home dads online (using forums, blogs, parenting websites, etc.) or even starting their own stay-at-home dad groups.
In the end, it doesn't matter how a stay-at-home dad (or mom) is able to overcome the sense of isolation and loneliness that comes with their role as full-time parent. As long as you are able to establish connections with others, to have people to share your frustrations and to brag about your joys, it will be good for your entire family. Whether you are the mother or father, when the primary caregiver of the family feels healthier, the rest of the family often does, too.
Answered by
Jeremy G. Schneider
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