Childbirth Methods: Why I Don't Want a Water Birth

Sure, in theory, all sorts of childbirth methods are fine, but I just don't get water births. My best friend had one and all through her pregnancy she talked about how wonderful a water birth would be for her and her baby. How they'd be "cradled in warmth" and how her baby would be "delivered into a natural environment instead of into the harsh, cold air of a sterile delivery room."

But all I kept thinking was: You're gonnna be soaking in a pool of your own delivery fluids. And what if you poop? ('Cause, face it, giving birth can be pretty gross— regardless of which childbirth method you use!)

And as for the baby— doesn't he eventually have to hit the shocking air, anyway? What does it matter if it happens at the moment of birth or the moment they pull him out of the water?

Maybe I'm just not "natural" enough to get down with the idea, but I don't want to be bathing in amniotic fluid during my delivery. I'll leave that part to my baby. I've researched various childbirth methods and I know what I want—a sterile delivery room with nurses at the ready to whisk away any thing that comes out of me (besides my baby!). I'll leave the water births to someone else.