Stop Losing Weight While I'm Pregnant!
Thanks a lot for LOSING weight while I'm bulking up like a beached whale! Since I have to do all the hard work of carrying our child, the least you could do was gain some sympathy pounds while I'm pregnant!
But nooo, instead your waistline is benefiting from MY efforts to keep the fridge stocked with healthy foods, the pantry cleared out of sugary snacks and a nutritious balanced meal on the table every night. And while I've already gained a whopping 35 pounds (with plenty of weeks of gaining to go!), you've actually lost a ton of weight.
So don't bother "supporting" me by changing your eating habits during this pregnancy. Go ahead and have a couple beers! Buy yourself a Snickers or two. Heck, order a pizza! Because watching you gleefully hammer a new hole in your belt and clap your hands at the number on the bathroom scale is driving me insane. Especially when I already have to hit the maternity store—again!—for bigger pants.
Babe, I'm carrying your kid. I barfed for the first four months, my back is killing me and I have to pee every five minutes. The least you could do is not weigh less than me!
Your Ever-Loving, Ever-Expanding Wife
Got a letter of your own you're dying to write but can't quite send? Send it to us! We'll publish it for you (totally anonymously, if you like!) and help you get that beef off your back!
Email us with the words "tuesday letters" in the subject line!